Degrees of Love by Lisa Slabach

Author:Lisa Slabach
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2017-08-17T11:28:26+00:00

Matt picked me up at the airport and kept our date Friday night as planned. We were too tired to go into the city for dinner and ended up at a small family style Italian restaurant not far from our house. The pressure for a “big night” was off, and Matt acted as though nothing was wrong. I thought we were drifting just as we had been. We exchanged pleasantries, but had nothing to say of much importance. Then, Matt announced the real purpose for our night out.

“Susan, I want to talk to you about your job.”

My pulse quickened. “What about it?”

“I don’t like the way it takes you from us.”

Don’t panic. He doesn’t know. “Matt, you knew there’d be heavy travel. Things will slow down in a couple months.”

“It’s not the travel. You’ve been distant. I don’t know how else to describe it. I want you to consider quitting.”

I knew that voice, quiet but determined. Consider? That’s not what he meant; he wanted me to quit my job. “What? I can’t do that.”

“Please keep your voice down.”

“Out of the blue, you tell me you want me to quit my job? What do you expect?”

“We should leave.”

“I agree.”

As soon as we were in the car, I confronted him. “Damn it, Matt, your timing is incredible. Why would you ask me to quit my job in the middle of a restaurant?”

“I thought it would force you stay calm.”

I kept control of my voice. “I’ll keep quiet until the boys are asleep, but this isn’t over.”

“No, it’s not, but I hope you are capable of a rational discussion.”

We rode in silence the rest of the way home. I was capable of a rational discussion. Matt had manipulated my feelings for years. No more. It was time he accepted me as a breathing, feeling woman. If he’d wanted a mousy little wife, then why had he married me?

I had a mask of tranquility when we walked in the door. One rule we’d agreed upon years ago was no fighting in front of the boys. An hour later, I tucked them in bed, waited until they were asleep, and then walked into the family room where Matt sat watching television.

“They’re asleep,” I announced.

Matt hit the remote and the television flicked off. “Are you calm?”

“If you want me to stay calm, then stop goading me.”

“Fine … I want you to quit your job.”

“Why?”

“I already told you. It’s taking you away from the boys and me. You seem to care more about your career than us.”

“What do you want? A Stepford wife? All I do outside of work is take care of this family. I cook; I clean; I do laundry; I watch your fucking soccer games every weekend!” I could see Matt shutting down and forced my voice lower. “I don’t hang out with friends. I’m not doing any theater work. You and the boys run off every weekend to do your guy thing, while I make sure you come home to a clean house and a decent meal.

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